I have to share something. I started this blog in England a few weeks after moving there from India, fresh into my postgraduate programme. I am now a bona fide MA from the University of Sussex and back in India.YES!!! A Masters in Journalism and Media Studies at last!! Hurray!!!
Oh Joy! From a frustrated student with some purpose to a frustrated Unemployed Postgraduate! Just one insignificant speck in a legion of frustrated twenty-somethings looking for jobs. ( I accompany this with a major rolling of eyes )
|My current status apropos of applications!|
Everyone I meet now are suitably impressed with my achievements! I could say that I am the golden girl in the room! However after the first five minutes when the glamour has worn off, there come the dreaded three words- "SO What Next" -some very powerful words...my heart stops and I can feel the air leave my lungs in a whoosh, as my throat just clams up and I can't come up with anything ! Oh the Horror! The absolute horror!
Now, for those of you who don't know me personally, I have this split personality. I am deeply introspective on normal days and then, when facing important people or situations I suddenly become this MONSTER with verbal diarrhoea. I become my worst nightmare.
When faced with important albeit really mundane and expected questions about my future, I wish I could come up with a suave reply. Yet, all that comes out of my mouth are defensive noises and mumblings of a confused nitwit!!!! It's like I am this completely different person observing someone who looks and sounds like me but is kind of like an exaggerated caricature.
So,I am compelled ask you dear reader, at the risk of sounding excessive obsessive - Why do we become our worst nightmares when under hugely stressful situations??? I send out this question into the void. So long dear Void. Until the next post.