Wednesday, 15 February 2012

In which I comeback with a regular blog.....

Dear Reader, I am quite sure that you may have wondered for the past couple of months about my whereabouts. In truth, I have to say that I have been amazingly Lazy...YES you heard me; LAZY. There were times, when I could have written about the things that were happening around me but, I had become the victim of a curious lethargy and was just unable to write a single word. So I apologise to anyone out there who actually bothered to read my incoherent ramblings.

I have to share something. I started this blog in England a few weeks after moving there from India, fresh into my postgraduate programme. I am now a bona fide MA from the University of Sussex and back in India.YES!!! A Masters in Journalism and Media Studies at last!! Hurray!!!

Oh Joy! From a frustrated student with some purpose to a frustrated Unemployed Postgraduate! Just one insignificant speck in a legion of frustrated twenty-somethings looking for jobs. ( I accompany this with a major rolling of eyes ) 

My current status apropos of applications!

Everyone I meet now are suitably impressed with my achievements! I could say that I am the golden girl in the room! However after the first five minutes when the glamour has worn off, there come the dreaded three words- "SO What Next" -some very powerful heart stops and I can feel the air leave my lungs in a whoosh, as my throat just clams up and I can't come up with anything ! Oh the Horror! The absolute horror!

Now, for those of you who don't know me personally, I have this split personality. I am deeply introspective on normal days and then, when facing important people or situations I suddenly become this MONSTER with verbal diarrhoea. I become my worst nightmare.

When faced with important albeit really mundane and expected questions about my future, I wish I could come up with a suave reply. Yet, all that comes out of my mouth are defensive noises and mumblings of a confused nitwit!!!! It's like I am this completely different person observing  someone who looks and sounds like me but is kind of like an exaggerated caricature.

So,I am compelled ask you dear reader, at the risk of sounding excessive obsessive -  Why do we become our worst nightmares when under hugely stressful situations??? I send out this question into the void. So long dear Void. Until the next post.


  1. Because our fears possess our minds... And at the end of the day is only the fear we see. Try to make the fear your best friend. And remember: you are not alone in this. Until the next post K.

  2. Soo true!!! yet it is a sort of incurable disease is it not?

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. Stressful situations are so for everyone K, it's just that people discipline themselves to hide their fear, or deal with their fear. Even if you don't know what your concrete next step is it helps to have clarity of thought. The more often you practice the better you become.