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Tuesday, 18 March 2014

in which I look into the mirror only to find a stranger look back...

Dear Reader, have you ever watched a show on the telly that everyone is just raving about and found that you absolutely hate it? Well, I have recently been exposed to a show that made me actually ask myself some really awkward questions... Is it that I've changed so much fundamentally that I find certain things (that I might have enjoyed even two years ago) vacuous and idiotic....or was I the one who was vacuous and idiotic?

As I approach another birthday, one that is going to take me from one part of my twenties into another; I find myself looking in the mirror at someone really different from the person who stared back at me during my college years. I  find the girl looking back at me slightly alarming....not the looks really, it is just the eyes, specifically the expression. It used to be animated and bright but now it is guarded and angry..

There have been times in my life when I've looked into the mirror to find a new me looking back. The last time this happened, was in my teens when I looked in expecting the child, to only find the innocence curiously blink back and vanish.

They say that our eyes are the mirrors to our soul. I don't know if that's true, however I do know that the mirror never lies. If one really looks at oneself....really looks, one can always find the truth within oneself. I found a peculiar emptiness and darkness that I have always associated with being an adult. I find myself scared and worried for the child that still lurks within. You see, I tenaciously held on to remnants of my  childhood, yet now I find it slipping away through my fingers. It's ephemeral presence seems to be gradually receding, replaced by this  heavy permanence of being all grown up.

Perhaps, it was meant to be, still, it makes me wonder at myriad faces of life and it's 'ever constant changefulness'. I hope this post with it's incredibly philosophical content doesn't bore you much dear reader...like most writers I wish daily, that every sentence that I write or speak is frightfully witty and intelligent; however if I do come across as idiotic and boring forgive me... I am after all only human and promise to try and write a more entertaining post next time.... 

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