Sometimes I yearn for something so ephemeral that I can't even articulate it. It is during these times that I find solace in music and reading and art. If I had a camera, a good one and the freedom to go places, I would go to all those wide open spaces where nature is at her peak. I would capture every single angle in frames and keep them with me forever. 

I wish I could paint the beauty that I sometimes see around. I am slightly obsessed with preserving beautiful thing, whether they are moments, or music or scenes. I actually close my eyes and imagine that I am on a cliff somewhere listening to the combined sound  of water and wind whistling through the leaves of the trees of a forest near me. I think it has become a kind of madness that overtakes me. I feel like I need to escape my skin and this scene is often my go to. 

I need sound and silence combined in a way. I wish I could listen to music for eons and I wish I didn't have to talk. I like the fact that in the 21st century we can do this without disturbing others, oh the joys of good headphones. 

I wish I could write in cursive and leave behind interesting titbits for posterity, alas this might not be of interest for two reason A. I am not really a good writer, and B. I don't think anyone would want to read my ramblings on page. Does anybody even read this blog? I think not, thus I feel completely at ease. It is like an online journal for me. 

I think that I yearn for love and acknowledgement. Lately, I feel that my existence doesn't really matter and that no one would probably remember me if I vanished.  In the end that's all anyone wants the beautiful feeling of being loved.