Thursday, 31 January 2013

My sun and my north star

Dear reader, today is a special's my mother's birthday! I wish I was there with her today..I wish I could hug her and bask in her warmth....Well, there will be other birthdays, but after living at home for several months, one can't help but miss the somewhat mundane yet sweet existence.

I discovered certain things about myself that I didn't really think I was capable of. But, before I enumerate, let me tell you that I was a somewhat solitary child, happy to live in my own world, in fact I was really fond of my own company. I didn't like being hugged as I wasn't the clingy type and absolutely loathed the constant need that my family had to keep tabs on my activities!

The move to Delhi for my BA was a relief, I was proud of the fact that I never called home to cry, which so many of my peers (even my sister) did. And then, the two years in England were an absolute blast! I moved back home last year after my MA , it was supposed to be temporary a holiday....yet, I found myself staying permanently for 11 months. 

During that time, I discovered a new side to my mum and dad, they were more like friends, than parents, there were no sudden awkward silences when I entered the room ( they did that when we were younger, probably discussing 'grown-up stuff ' ), dinner conversations were about politics, and current affairs rather than the situation with homework or the crisis with disputed clothes (my sister and I always quarreled about clothes), my relationship with my mum and dad has now settled into a level of comfort that I would never have even imagined as a teenager. I also found out to my shock that I adore hugs, especially from my mother, I love teasing my father and seeing him smile despite trying to frown gives me a lot of pleasure.

I always made an extra cup of coffee just for my father (he isn't fond of coffee but always drank it). Every evening, the sound of the car in the garage would send me rushing to make tea for my mother, who was always surprised when I handed her the cup! Sometimes, cuddling up to her as she watched the TV was such a source of comfort.

I have now moved to Delhi, and I find myself bewildered, that for the first time in my life, I have the urge to call my parents, just to hear their voices. Am I turning into a total sap? Well I suppose I am!

My mother is the sun, she is the center of my universe, an inexhaustible source of warmth and light, she is the mirror that always shows me the truth about myself. My father, well he is my north star, my guide back to righteousness, whenever I stray from the path to achieve my goals and my axis when I need direction. 

I have spent a lot of time in having misunderstandings, and in general feeling that my parents didn't know me at all  (I think we all do that at some point don't we?), only to discover that they know me better than I know myself. 

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